Dorje’s grandmother, and my mother, died early on Monday morning.

Dorje was the apple of her eye, and she would always greet me at the door while looking behind me to see if I’d brought Dorje. Dorje used to enjoy hiding, and then pleasantly surprising her that it was not only me when he appeared.

Dorje used to go to her at least once a week from very early on. In true grandmother fashion, there he could eat fizzers to his heart’s (not stomach’s) content. When he was younger, she would get her exercise running after him as he bounded around the garden and into the street. There was only a small window before he was faster than her, and she contemplated tying a leash to him. I picture the equivalent of a St Bernard pulling a 6-year around, so doubt the idea gained much traction.

Dorje’s gran’s 80th birthday, with mom, grandpa and dad

She played endless games with him, which he’d somehow always win, and was great at pretending my healthy eating contributions were supplemented by “just one or two” items which I tried not to be too horrified about, knowing I’d survived a childhood of eating similar things.

From early this year she became much weaker, and couldn’t participate very actively, but it was still her favourite time of the week. Near the end, calling off Dorje’s time alone with her must have been one of the hardest things for her to do.

He still used to visit often, and one of my favourite memories of the three of us together was playing games like 30 Seconds. My father was in hospital and I was staying at their house. She’d begun to lose her speech by then, and had difficulty in verbalising what she wanted to say in normal conversation, but still played a mean game of 30 Seconds, and the rare timeless evenings with just the three of us were precious.

Her birthday was on the 2nd of September. She turned 82, and by then she was completely bedridden and unable to speak. Dorje’s last card to her was a hand-drawn card with the words “I hope this is not your last birthday”.

She had been very poor in the weeks and days before her birthday, but on the day she was attentive and aware of her visitors, and of course beaming at Dorje.

She died peacefully in her own home and her own bed early in the morning of September 16th, and leaves us all with many wonderful memories.